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Another work-in-progress:

I left him. We had been fighting. We fought about everything then. He didn’t like how I folded his shirts, and I didn’t like how he filled the dishwasher. If something needed to be cleaned we would fight about who had to clean it. One of us would always claim that it was the others turn, because they had done it last time. God, it was all so stupid and petty.

When I left we were arguing about how little time he spent with me. He was hanging out with friends at the local bars. It was only a few times a week, and he was always home before midnight. He never came home drunk, never hit me. He barely even drank. All he wanted to do was spend time with his friends. I don’t know why I couldn’t see his point, but all I could do was focus on my feelings. How could he not understand how I felt? I was so angry and frustrated. I just wanted to run; so I did. I screamed at him that I was going for a drive while I grabbed my keys. I didn’t even grab a jacket I was so blinded by anger.

I threw myself into the frigid car, jammed my key in the ignition and twisted. My little white Toyota came to life. I paused just long enough to look at the door and contemplate turning the car off and going inside to apologize, but my poor judgment got the better of me, as usual. I backed out of my snow covered driveway and into the road. I put my slowly warming car into drive and started off. At first I drove carefully, then, I started to think about the argument. With each thought my speed elevated. I knew it was stupid, but that didn’t stop me. Snow gracefully floated toward ground. It was truly a beautiful winter night, but I took no notice. I just continued to drive. I ignored everything but the horizon ahead. I drove out of the town and started to descend from our mountain hideaway. The turns were sharp, but I knew how to handle these winding roads.

On the third turn I hit a patch of black ice. I never could have seen it coming. My little Toyota spun out of control towards the edge of the road, and then rolled down the side of the mountain until it was stopped by a tree. The car folded in half around the tree so that the front and back end touched. I didn’t feel any pain, just regret. I spent too much of my life fighting and being petty. I didn’t even tell him that I loved him before I left, or that I was sorry. I just left. There would be no more fighting, no more pettiness, and no more apologies. My life was over in seconds, and I had left so much unsaid and undone.  (Continue…)